


Forbidden Fruit: Aziraphale Bites off More than Crowley Can Chew

by Epivet



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Bananas, Challenge Response, Crowley Watches Aziraphale Eat (Good Omens), Crowley is the seed of his own destruction, Ficlet, Forbidden Fruit, Humor, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Ineffable Idiots (Good Omens), M/M, Prompt Fill, Scene: Garden of Eden (Good Omens), Suggestive Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:35:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24090649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Epivet/pseuds/Epivet
Summary: Crowley knew he should slither off on his merry way, but he wasn’t ready to part company with this nervous, sword–gifting, wing–lifting, demon–charming guardian of the Eastern Gate. Socializing with a principality was no doubt the wrong thing, but wasn’t the wrong thing what a demon was supposed to do? Perhaps he could offer something in return for keeping him warm and dry.Wherein Crowley's first temptation of Aziraphale backfires spectacularly
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 18
Kudos: 81
Collections: Forbidden Fruit, Name That Author Round 3: After Dark





	Forbidden Fruit: Aziraphale Bites off More than Crowley Can Chew

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Good Omens Name that Author: After Dark Challenge  
> 500 word limit  
> Prompt: "This better not awaken anything in me."  
> NSFW encouraged.
> 
> This is as spicy as you're gonna get from me!

“Of the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said: You shall not eat it”

***

The apple is not native to Mesopotamia.

***

God’s first rainstorm had finally stopped. Crawley stepped out from under Aziraphale’s wing and tasted the air, chasing the last delicious remnant of petrichor. He knew he should slither off on his merry way, but he wasn’t ready to part company with this nervous, sword–gifting, wing–lifting, demon–charming guardian of the Eastern Gate. Socializing with a principality was no doubt the wrong thing, but wasn’t the wrong thing what a demon was supposed to do? Perhaps he could offer something in return for keeping him warm and dry.

“Do you want a taste? Of the forbidden fruit?”

“Absolutely not. Out of the question.”

“C’mon. You already know the difference between good and evil. What’s the harm? Besides what else do you have to do now that those two are out there and we’re in here?”

“Well, I suppose it might help me better understand them. And it did look rather tempting. Oh.”

Crawley tried unsuccessfully to hide his smirk, but the resulting blush on Aziraphale’s cheeks made his stomach drop.  _ How were his eyes so blue?  _ “Ngk, uh, this way.”

After a moment's hesitation, Aziraphale followed the ebony wings gliding to the center of the Garden.

Crawley pulled the long yellow fruit from the stalk and handed it to Aziraphale. “You peel it.”

“What do you mean ‘peel’ it?” Aziraphale turned the fruit over in his hand, eyeing it suspiciously.

“Oh, let me.” As Crawley impatiently retrieved the fruit, their hands brushed, generating a breathtaking spark between them (static electricity being one of God’s more recent inventions). He shook his hand out before pulling back the thick yellow skin to reveal the soft white treasure within. He handed it back, this time carefully avoiding the other’s fingers. 

"This better not awaken anything in me," the angel huffed to himself. He took a deep breath and tentatively licked the fruit. The flavour exploded on his tongue. He flashed a radiant smile to the transfixed demon and took a second, more confident lick.

_ Oh, fuck. This was a mistake. _ Crawley’s chest tightened and his breathing turned shallow as the angel continued to explore the fruit with his tongue. In a voice suddenly an octave higher, he pleaded, “Just eat it already!”

“Am I doing it wrong? Show me,” Aziraphale requested earnestly.

_ Oh, Satan, he’s going to be the end of me _ . “Take a bite!” Crawley frantically directed.

Now concerned he was doing it all dreadfully wrong, Aziraphale slowly opened his mouth and wondered how big a bite would be correct. After adjusting back and forth for a moment, he finally bit down. The taste was indescribable, like sunshine and bird song and the iridescent wing of a dragonfly. This was his first taste of anything, and he wanted more. He moaned and wiggled in delight.

_ Thud _ .

“Crawley? Oh dear! Are you alright?”

**Author's Note:**

> It's me. Of course, there's a research note. In several Jewish and Islamic traditions, the forbidden fruit is a banana rather than an apple. The timing and means of the banana's introduction are unclear, but one hypothesis does put it at 3000 BCE. Still not ~6000 years ago, but I decided the literary traditions were grounds enough for running with this silliness. For more on the banana in the Middle East, see the link below. Page 6-7 discusses history and possible introductions.
> 
> https://www.bioversityinternational.org/fileadmin/_migrated/uploads/tx_news/Banana_diversity_in_the_Middle_East__Jordan__Egypt__Oman__802.pdf


End file.
